Sunday, September 07, 2003
Exit Music
"I played Man in Coffee Shop #3 in "insert movie nobody gave a shit about" - Biggest asshole ever.
Guess What? That's right : Nobody Cares.
I'm sick of hearing about everyones greatest minor achievements in life. Wow, you actually spent 30 seconds on the radio? or, You were really in the background of the six o'clock news last night? Let's take a minute here to reflect on how much this actually matters. First of all, if everyone were to mention their most inane achievement in life the average life expectancy in North America would go down by at least 5 years, not that this is a bad thing, because after all euthanasia isn't yet legalized (it's called suicide) and there are obviously people who are just yearning to drop dead. Not only that we would all lose valuable brain cells, but we all become dumber merely listening to these stories of great accomplishment. Maybe, just maybe, and I'm talking about probabilities here, if everyone spent a few extra minutes each day sparing everyone else from what is known as pure bullshit or if you're a fan of maddox "aural pollution" we could avoid another terrorist attack in an attempt to eliminate North America of idiocy. Look at the terrorists! They've done something with their lives! Why haven't you?
Just this summer I was forced to put up with a story about how heroically my friend managed to appear on some news show on TV. As she told many of her friends to watch that night, I'm positive none did. Just for arguments sake let's say that she appeared on a Fox "late night" edition of Cops, where the coveted role of "Domestic Disturbance #643" was given to her and her family. The ratings would have gone up. Nonetheless, playing a part in my social life is enough, you don't have to ruin my TV as well.
Guess What? That's right : Nobody Cares.
I'm sick of hearing about everyones greatest minor achievements in life. Wow, you actually spent 30 seconds on the radio? or, You were really in the background of the six o'clock news last night? Let's take a minute here to reflect on how much this actually matters. First of all, if everyone were to mention their most inane achievement in life the average life expectancy in North America would go down by at least 5 years, not that this is a bad thing, because after all euthanasia isn't yet legalized (it's called suicide) and there are obviously people who are just yearning to drop dead. Not only that we would all lose valuable brain cells, but we all become dumber merely listening to these stories of great accomplishment. Maybe, just maybe, and I'm talking about probabilities here, if everyone spent a few extra minutes each day sparing everyone else from what is known as pure bullshit or if you're a fan of maddox "aural pollution" we could avoid another terrorist attack in an attempt to eliminate North America of idiocy. Look at the terrorists! They've done something with their lives! Why haven't you?
Just this summer I was forced to put up with a story about how heroically my friend managed to appear on some news show on TV. As she told many of her friends to watch that night, I'm positive none did. Just for arguments sake let's say that she appeared on a Fox "late night" edition of Cops, where the coveted role of "Domestic Disturbance #643" was given to her and her family. The ratings would have gone up. Nonetheless, playing a part in my social life is enough, you don't have to ruin my TV as well.
