Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Eager Foreign Student, meet Really Shitty American Food
Notice the new-ish layout? Good I thought you would.
Also, I just wanted to welcome "O'carreigh Carr" to the team here at politics. We're all really hoping to hear from him shortly. If you'd like to see some of the mindless shit he churned out before he decided to come with us... Go here: no shit I meant here: damnit you assholes let me put in the link to here: here
...Bastards...
Anyhow, this brings me to the start of what I would like to proclaim as being some of the most disturbing content on TV today. I'm talking of course about the new McDonalds commercial.
If you haven't already seen it, it features a bunch of asshole little kids at a birthday party sitting around eating the shit little asshole kids love most. Then one little guy decides to yell out, in betwen mouthfuls of old garage doors, old christmas trees and old dog shit that "They changed the McNuggets you guys!" Then putting down his orange pop (what is it about that stereotype where old people just decided the orange is the universal flavor that all kids like?) some other kid demands to know "Who changed the McNuggets?". And so on.. they feature as many aspiring child actors and actresses before the original kis takes a bite out of the "new" McNugget and as all the others stay very quiet in heated anticipation (Drum Role).. "They're good!" Or some shit like that. Then the asshole (biggest asshole ever) announcer guy comes on with his fancy assed "McDicks' now uses all white meat in their Chicken McNuggets"
I was shocked and appauled. Moments after the commercial ended and the new Lancer commercial came on (actually I'm not this obsessed with memorizing what commercials I see.. I just thought I would mention that commercial because if you happen to see it the song that plays in the background is from on of the best underground rap acts ever)... Anyways, moments after the new Lancer commercial came I found myself over the toilet bowl throwing out my vita internal organs. Jesus, who needs their Liver and Pancreas after seeing that commercial?
My question is, what exactly was I filling my mouth with back when I was younger and would exclaim to my pa, "A happy meal daddy!! Chicken McNuggets!!"
I guess I was wrong:
There never was Chicken in my Nuggets.
Like what the fuck? What the fuck is next?
"Oh yeah.. sorry we didn't tell you assholes this earlier, but uhh we fucked up. But don't worry, McDonalds now promises that when you eat a burger from our restaurants*, you'll be eating genuine beef! The real thing people! McDonalds now uses all beef in our patties!" Great, just great. Just when i thought commercials couldn't lie to me anymore then they already had, they did. Let's think here for a moment. Now, I'm the consumer right? And since we live in this free anarchist society, shouldn't my spendings influence what products are being produced? Then technically wouldn't it be possible that people stopped buying McDonalds with the aspiration of one day having a clean society?
The answer: no. Partly because little kids will always be eager to coat their gums in shit, and they will always want to rub Ronald's belly. Shit, no! That's Buddha. My mistake...
Furthermore, and even though McDonalds has posted their first second quarter losses ever. (Not a spelling error people, a term and the word "first"). There will always be people, whether it be the classic stereotype of the greasy asshole teenager who spits in your burger or the senior citizen who doesn't make enough on retirement alone, there will always be those willing to burn themselves on the "grills" for 5.90 an hour. There is, of course always the appeal of the uniforms.. but I'm not so sure if those are actually a step ahead of orange jumpsuits.
In the end, there is still no place more charming then behind the grease bin, making out with your shift manager. Pending of course, that the corporation* gives you a break.
Note on the asterisks*: I use those terms loosely... very... very loosely people.
Also, I just wanted to welcome "O'carreigh Carr" to the team here at politics. We're all really hoping to hear from him shortly. If you'd like to see some of the mindless shit he churned out before he decided to come with us... Go here: no shit I meant here: damnit you assholes let me put in the link to here: here
...Bastards...
Anyhow, this brings me to the start of what I would like to proclaim as being some of the most disturbing content on TV today. I'm talking of course about the new McDonalds commercial.
If you haven't already seen it, it features a bunch of asshole little kids at a birthday party sitting around eating the shit little asshole kids love most. Then one little guy decides to yell out, in betwen mouthfuls of old garage doors, old christmas trees and old dog shit that "They changed the McNuggets you guys!" Then putting down his orange pop (what is it about that stereotype where old people just decided the orange is the universal flavor that all kids like?) some other kid demands to know "Who changed the McNuggets?". And so on.. they feature as many aspiring child actors and actresses before the original kis takes a bite out of the "new" McNugget and as all the others stay very quiet in heated anticipation (Drum Role).. "They're good!" Or some shit like that. Then the asshole (biggest asshole ever) announcer guy comes on with his fancy assed "McDicks' now uses all white meat in their Chicken McNuggets"
I was shocked and appauled. Moments after the commercial ended and the new Lancer commercial came on (actually I'm not this obsessed with memorizing what commercials I see.. I just thought I would mention that commercial because if you happen to see it the song that plays in the background is from on of the best underground rap acts ever)... Anyways, moments after the new Lancer commercial came I found myself over the toilet bowl throwing out my vita internal organs. Jesus, who needs their Liver and Pancreas after seeing that commercial?
My question is, what exactly was I filling my mouth with back when I was younger and would exclaim to my pa, "A happy meal daddy!! Chicken McNuggets!!"
I guess I was wrong:
There never was Chicken in my Nuggets.
Like what the fuck? What the fuck is next?
"Oh yeah.. sorry we didn't tell you assholes this earlier, but uhh we fucked up. But don't worry, McDonalds now promises that when you eat a burger from our restaurants*, you'll be eating genuine beef! The real thing people! McDonalds now uses all beef in our patties!" Great, just great. Just when i thought commercials couldn't lie to me anymore then they already had, they did. Let's think here for a moment. Now, I'm the consumer right? And since we live in this free anarchist society, shouldn't my spendings influence what products are being produced? Then technically wouldn't it be possible that people stopped buying McDonalds with the aspiration of one day having a clean society?
The answer: no. Partly because little kids will always be eager to coat their gums in shit, and they will always want to rub Ronald's belly. Shit, no! That's Buddha. My mistake...
Furthermore, and even though McDonalds has posted their first second quarter losses ever. (Not a spelling error people, a term and the word "first"). There will always be people, whether it be the classic stereotype of the greasy asshole teenager who spits in your burger or the senior citizen who doesn't make enough on retirement alone, there will always be those willing to burn themselves on the "grills" for 5.90 an hour. There is, of course always the appeal of the uniforms.. but I'm not so sure if those are actually a step ahead of orange jumpsuits.
In the end, there is still no place more charming then behind the grease bin, making out with your shift manager. Pending of course, that the corporation* gives you a break.
Note on the asterisks*: I use those terms loosely... very... very loosely people.
