Friday, November 14, 2003
Give me a "D"!
So there I was, minding my own business, kicking ass, eating good food quickly, and of course, watching Seinfeld.
So there I was, and then out of nowhere: my life was ruined! (roll your "r" for the full effect). Someone stepped on my silk tie, sprayed mud on my bad ass wooden pirate leg and stepped on my toe. The later pissed me off the most.
So there I was, and I made the mistake of looking up. Because there was Chump Change who had just stepped in my shit.
I quickly countered with a double kick to her head, as i drew my bad ass pirate sword and sliced those guts open. I then layed down some fuckin' "A"wesome martial arts tactics that I had acquired early that day from my bad ass buddy Jet Li. At that point I remembered the chainsaw I had in my back pocket of my slacks (sure now you're going to tell me that pirates don't wear slacks? yeah! well argh, go fuck yourself). Within an instant I had pulled it out and primed 'er good. The humming of the chain was nothing compared to the screams Chump Change let out while her vital internal organs played a game of chess with my 400 rpms.
Later on the cops picked me up outside my upscale Manhattan apartment complex. I was smoking a cigar at the time and I cooly rolled it into my mouth with the tip of my toungue. I chewed it up good, with my bad ass pirate molars and then proclaimed "Jesus, what took you so long?"
So there I was, and then out of nowhere: my life was ruined! (roll your "r" for the full effect). Someone stepped on my silk tie, sprayed mud on my bad ass wooden pirate leg and stepped on my toe. The later pissed me off the most.
So there I was, and I made the mistake of looking up. Because there was Chump Change who had just stepped in my shit.
I quickly countered with a double kick to her head, as i drew my bad ass pirate sword and sliced those guts open. I then layed down some fuckin' "A"wesome martial arts tactics that I had acquired early that day from my bad ass buddy Jet Li. At that point I remembered the chainsaw I had in my back pocket of my slacks (sure now you're going to tell me that pirates don't wear slacks? yeah! well argh, go fuck yourself). Within an instant I had pulled it out and primed 'er good. The humming of the chain was nothing compared to the screams Chump Change let out while her vital internal organs played a game of chess with my 400 rpms.
Later on the cops picked me up outside my upscale Manhattan apartment complex. I was smoking a cigar at the time and I cooly rolled it into my mouth with the tip of my toungue. I chewed it up good, with my bad ass pirate molars and then proclaimed "Jesus, what took you so long?"
