Saturday, December 27, 2003
I'm Destructive
I hate what they've done with Blogger.com. Quite frankly, I just don't understand what the whole idea behind "give the gift of blogger" really could be. It's nothing personal guys, but having the priviledge of unwrapping a little piece of paper that says "Congratulations! You've been given a weblog that no one will ever read, no one will ever care about, and no real ISP will ever pick up.", just doesn't float my boat.
Here is a small excerpt from a handily crafted article by "Biz Stone". (Yeah, I'm not going to stab the name straight in the heart just incase it would turn into a racial slurr and I'll be damned if anyone's to damn me into eternal damnation). Anyhow, here it is:
"Don't they know that Blogger is 'The fast, easy, and free way to publish and share your information online?' Well it is. And it's damn sexy too."
Umm, great observation Bizzy, you've managed to point out what every savvy web user knows: there is absolutely nothing more erotic than sharing personal information online. Here is a typical Blog format. Don't let me know what you think, we're already on the same page.
"Linda's Blog"
"Mood : Ecstatic!!!!!11 :D:D - James just asked me out! I'm so like (insert really stupid adjective that is entirely out of context that only the 3 most popular kids from school would actually know what it means).
Regardless of what may come next, those last 3 lines were so painful to type, that I really can't continue. Life or death situation? I'll be first in line for the latter. But I do think that it's becoming rather obvious as to why people aren't reading these blogs.
Anyways, back to the real reason why we're all here: Giving the "gift of Blog" is not a good idea, and hopefully this campaign will never again arise during the festive season.
Here is another excerpt from the article, this time with a clever touch. Bizzy has decided it's time to keep his few readers interested by cracking a dry joke.
Step 2 -- Write An Initial Post
Once you've set up the blog, write a first post the same way you would sign a card. Something along the lines of, "I love you." (Not recommended if you're giving this gift to your boss.)
This one left me speachless. As opposed to reading more and gaining interest, his cute joke had the reverse affect on my far too developed brain. I nearly took an axe to my monitor right then and there. Instead, I later found myself cleaning up the shit I had spewed all over my room. Fuck do things like that ever make me angry. So I read the rest. Actually, I took it upon myself to read the rest anyways just to see how it turned out. Amazingly enough, the guy actually thought this was a good idea.
Reasons why giving somebody a Blog is not a good idea.
1. They're going to be buying you something worth real money.
2. Any idiot can set up his/her own blog.
3. There is no memorable value in writing your first entry.
4. They just might feel obliged to link to your blog from theirs (which is also technically yours because the giver will still be on the list of members on the giftee's blog. A 5th reason why this is the dumbest idea ever).
Reasons why giving somebody a Blog is a good idea.
1. You want the shit kicked out of you.
After a team of specialists reviewed these reasons for a period of 5 hours, (4 hours and 59 minutes being spent playing poker), it was determined that the reasons for not giving a blog made much more sense then ever even considering giving "the gift of blogger".
Here is a small excerpt from a handily crafted article by "Biz Stone". (Yeah, I'm not going to stab the name straight in the heart just incase it would turn into a racial slurr and I'll be damned if anyone's to damn me into eternal damnation). Anyhow, here it is:
"Don't they know that Blogger is 'The fast, easy, and free way to publish and share your information online?' Well it is. And it's damn sexy too."
Umm, great observation Bizzy, you've managed to point out what every savvy web user knows: there is absolutely nothing more erotic than sharing personal information online. Here is a typical Blog format. Don't let me know what you think, we're already on the same page.
"Linda's Blog"
"Mood : Ecstatic!!!!!11 :D:D - James just asked me out! I'm so like (insert really stupid adjective that is entirely out of context that only the 3 most popular kids from school would actually know what it means).
Regardless of what may come next, those last 3 lines were so painful to type, that I really can't continue. Life or death situation? I'll be first in line for the latter. But I do think that it's becoming rather obvious as to why people aren't reading these blogs.
Anyways, back to the real reason why we're all here: Giving the "gift of Blog" is not a good idea, and hopefully this campaign will never again arise during the festive season.
Here is another excerpt from the article, this time with a clever touch. Bizzy has decided it's time to keep his few readers interested by cracking a dry joke.
Step 2 -- Write An Initial Post
Once you've set up the blog, write a first post the same way you would sign a card. Something along the lines of, "I love you." (Not recommended if you're giving this gift to your boss.)
This one left me speachless. As opposed to reading more and gaining interest, his cute joke had the reverse affect on my far too developed brain. I nearly took an axe to my monitor right then and there. Instead, I later found myself cleaning up the shit I had spewed all over my room. Fuck do things like that ever make me angry. So I read the rest. Actually, I took it upon myself to read the rest anyways just to see how it turned out. Amazingly enough, the guy actually thought this was a good idea.
Reasons why giving somebody a Blog is not a good idea.
1. They're going to be buying you something worth real money.
2. Any idiot can set up his/her own blog.
3. There is no memorable value in writing your first entry.
4. They just might feel obliged to link to your blog from theirs (which is also technically yours because the giver will still be on the list of members on the giftee's blog. A 5th reason why this is the dumbest idea ever).
Reasons why giving somebody a Blog is a good idea.
1. You want the shit kicked out of you.
After a team of specialists reviewed these reasons for a period of 5 hours, (4 hours and 59 minutes being spent playing poker), it was determined that the reasons for not giving a blog made much more sense then ever even considering giving "the gift of blogger".
