Thursday, December 18, 2003
Not For The Easily Offended
Welcome back, Matt!
Here is your blog-
Politics of the Business
Thanks guy who wrote that script! It was real nice of you, because this is very important and needs immediate postage.
Yes, that's right. You've (meaning nobody) all been waiting for this, and it's finally here!
The coolest instrument ever awards.
As told to me, according to Graeme, it's really important that we award the "badge of merit" to everybody's most underated instrument, the accordion.
People, come on! How cool is an instrument that you compress (and then pull apart) and press numerous keys on at the same time? Exactly why it has earned the "badge of merit". Actually, while I'm at it, throw a "most underrated instrument" award its way too. Thanks.
Next on the list would have to be the cowbell. Let's take a ring back in history as we remember a classic Saturday Night Live skit from awhile back. It involved Will Ferrel who, as a member of a band, played cowbell. Amazing. Simply ingenious. Only the writers of Mad, and possibly Random Hero could come up with a skit just as funny. Anyways, if you haven't seen the skit, Will Ferrel dances around with a belly shirt on as the producer periodically interrupts the video asking for "more cowbell". Only an instrument as kickass as a hollow tube formed into a "bell" could be this cool. Admit it soapies, Days of Our Lives has nothing on the cowbell. "Award of pure kickassity"
I'd like to now bring everyones attention to the oboe. Give this guy some credit, I mean, it's bulky, odd looking and about the strangest mouthpiece ever. It looks more like a really small bong than anything, and if music can be THAT educational it can only mean one thing: "The Educator's Award of Likedness". (Kind of lame, I mean, it's a pin in the form of an apple that has a book across it". Plus, as a stab at the system I'm sure all you under 16ers will notice the irony in the name itself. And if not, you've beat the system. Congratulations!
And now (cue drum roll - on second thoughts no, I hate sites with music) for the coolest instrument ever, (meaning of all time, aka the best in the world), I'm awarding the sitar the honors. Who amongst us can honestly say that they haven't learned to love the beauty of the melodious sitar at least once in the privacy of their own home? I would plead guilty. If only I could become Indian and begin to learn the mystical keys and patterns of shrill, whining, ear splitting, tones that are produced by this strange bango-like instrument. Because of these reasons, and the power vested in me through the musical awardery board of redundant merit, I hereby decree that the sitar is, and forever shall be "ye greatest instrument ever".
On a later note, I'd just like to say this article could have been much longer. Thank me for keeping it short and to the point. Just be sure to tip on your way out.
(Look people: I know olde English has nothing to do with the Sitar, seriously shut up already, it's a joke because it doesn't make sense! It's not supposed to sound smart! That's the entire point of this whole post! If you would..! Jesus nevermind, some people will never learn. Note to the aforementioned: Way to beat the system!)
Here is your blog-
Politics of the Business
Thanks guy who wrote that script! It was real nice of you, because this is very important and needs immediate postage.
Yes, that's right. You've (meaning nobody) all been waiting for this, and it's finally here!
The coolest instrument ever awards.
As told to me, according to Graeme, it's really important that we award the "badge of merit" to everybody's most underated instrument, the accordion.
People, come on! How cool is an instrument that you compress (and then pull apart) and press numerous keys on at the same time? Exactly why it has earned the "badge of merit". Actually, while I'm at it, throw a "most underrated instrument" award its way too. Thanks.
Next on the list would have to be the cowbell. Let's take a ring back in history as we remember a classic Saturday Night Live skit from awhile back. It involved Will Ferrel who, as a member of a band, played cowbell. Amazing. Simply ingenious. Only the writers of Mad, and possibly Random Hero could come up with a skit just as funny. Anyways, if you haven't seen the skit, Will Ferrel dances around with a belly shirt on as the producer periodically interrupts the video asking for "more cowbell". Only an instrument as kickass as a hollow tube formed into a "bell" could be this cool. Admit it soapies, Days of Our Lives has nothing on the cowbell. "Award of pure kickassity"
I'd like to now bring everyones attention to the oboe. Give this guy some credit, I mean, it's bulky, odd looking and about the strangest mouthpiece ever. It looks more like a really small bong than anything, and if music can be THAT educational it can only mean one thing: "The Educator's Award of Likedness". (Kind of lame, I mean, it's a pin in the form of an apple that has a book across it". Plus, as a stab at the system I'm sure all you under 16ers will notice the irony in the name itself. And if not, you've beat the system. Congratulations!
And now (cue drum roll - on second thoughts no, I hate sites with music) for the coolest instrument ever, (meaning of all time, aka the best in the world), I'm awarding the sitar the honors. Who amongst us can honestly say that they haven't learned to love the beauty of the melodious sitar at least once in the privacy of their own home? I would plead guilty. If only I could become Indian and begin to learn the mystical keys and patterns of shrill, whining, ear splitting, tones that are produced by this strange bango-like instrument. Because of these reasons, and the power vested in me through the musical awardery board of redundant merit, I hereby decree that the sitar is, and forever shall be "ye greatest instrument ever".
On a later note, I'd just like to say this article could have been much longer. Thank me for keeping it short and to the point. Just be sure to tip on your way out.
(Look people: I know olde English has nothing to do with the Sitar, seriously shut up already, it's a joke because it doesn't make sense! It's not supposed to sound smart! That's the entire point of this whole post! If you would..! Jesus nevermind, some people will never learn. Note to the aforementioned: Way to beat the system!)
