Tuesday, December 23, 2003
What's new at 1:09?
Believe it or not, sometimes it's hard to find inspiration. I mean, it's certainly not hard to ramble and rant once the original shit has been marked down, but getting there can be difficult. I like to think about things that are humorous before I try to entertain. Emo glasses make me laugh, and they're right up alongside "historical fiction". Yeah, exactly. Maybe you just don't understand how much of a joke historical fiction is. How can a novel be historically accurate and fictional at the same time? What if I decided that the Last of the Mohicans was also a general who fought alongside Stonewall Jackson and Patton. (No wait, make it Rommel! That guy was so cool). Sometimes even the simplest (yeah it gets simpler) things amuse me. For instance, once the Man Show prompted me to write an entire essay on government tax referendum reform programs.* Another time, El Nino made me laugh because it's in Spanish and pissed-himself was there. Along with Grock, let's not forget Hubert's long lost cousin. After all, Grock no know!
My deodorant smells like nutmeg. And have I mentioned that a lot of the time when i want to capitalize a letter on the right side of the board I won't use the right shift key. Why is that?
And now, as we wind down the time of shopping I would like to offer a last minute gift solution. Fire. Think about it this way: It just occured to me that there will always be a lot of wrapping paper around on boxing day. Who wouldn't appreciate being able to pollute the atmosphere, warm up in their own backyard, and make their used wrapping paper disapear, all in one foul swoop? Cry now, you enviro-pansies. Pretty soon the "ozone layer" (I'm still determined to prove that it's only a figure of the media) will be destroyed anyways. Mostly due to the fact that as North Americans we have no consideration for future generations, nor do we actually care about our own. Is it just me, or have we all heard enough about eco-conservation and minimizing waste that if it hasn't sunk in by now, the millions of dollars that went into funding these fancy media campaigns has long been depleted.
*O'Carreigh- "I doubt that"
My deodorant smells like nutmeg. And have I mentioned that a lot of the time when i want to capitalize a letter on the right side of the board I won't use the right shift key. Why is that?
And now, as we wind down the time of shopping I would like to offer a last minute gift solution. Fire. Think about it this way: It just occured to me that there will always be a lot of wrapping paper around on boxing day. Who wouldn't appreciate being able to pollute the atmosphere, warm up in their own backyard, and make their used wrapping paper disapear, all in one foul swoop? Cry now, you enviro-pansies. Pretty soon the "ozone layer" (I'm still determined to prove that it's only a figure of the media) will be destroyed anyways. Mostly due to the fact that as North Americans we have no consideration for future generations, nor do we actually care about our own. Is it just me, or have we all heard enough about eco-conservation and minimizing waste that if it hasn't sunk in by now, the millions of dollars that went into funding these fancy media campaigns has long been depleted.
*O'Carreigh- "I doubt that"
