Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Doing the Butts Justice.
Venue : Laurier Park
Time of day : Afternoon
Weather : Warm, with that feeling of urge to pee your pants. (Does anyone else ever get that?)
"Barret, Barret, remember at your birthday last year when we first saw that stone that has 'The Butt Family' engraved on it?" - Me.
"What? The what Family?"- Barret.
"The BUTT Family!"
"Holy Shit! YOU'RE RIGHT, I REMEMBER THAT!"
I then point to the engraved stone that reads, "THE BUTT FAMILY".
Barret's laughter dures 5 minutes whilst he rolls around on various benches nearly vomiting and crying out to the 10 or so people in the park, "The Butt FAMILY!!! HAHAHAH!"
A stranger walks over to Barret as he leans against the pillar (clutching his aching sides) where the name's of families who contributed to the park development are enscribed. The woman is wearing large, oversized (almost novelty) glasses. The thick lenses and wide frames themselves are cause for laughter. Her posture is that of someone who is irate, irrational, and possibly, Sheila Butt.
"Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Sheila Butt."
Barret, astonished, yet with a very quick rebound time, "WELL! Pleased to meet you!" He sticks out his hand and tries to shake hers vigorously, yet hers remains somewhat limp.
"You find my last name funny." She really actually states it. It's not like anyone who's last name is Butt really needs to ask if their last name is funny.
"Yes, indeed I kind of do!"
"Well I've been living in Laurier for 40 years. How many years have you lived here?"
I'd like to take a moment here to point out that this part of the conversation doesn't really make much sense. Yet, for some reason, she thought this was a stellar counter-point. Why? Who knows?
"All my life! 14 years!" - Barret.
After responding, with a tone of affirmation to her question. She moves in closely so as I cannot hear. Nonetheless, Barret has filled in the holes.
"Did you know that "butt" means target in Old English. Because it does."
Again, she simply states what she asks. Again, who cares? What does that even mean?
"Well, no, I can't say I did know that."
"Well Barret what is your last name?"
"McNally."
(I was kind of expecting her to try to make a clever pun or play-on-words out of his last name... GOOD LUCK. Your last name is BUTT!)
"Where do you live Barret?"
"Just over there." He points in the general direction of his house.
The rest isn't important. What is important is the fact that the Butt Family was at the Park that day, simply enjoying an afternoon in the sun, when all of a sudden and without warning, a sick, sick mind had to ruin the day.
Unfortunately, her last name is still Butt.
No matter how long she lives in Laurier... I don't think it's going to change.
Time of day : Afternoon
Weather : Warm, with that feeling of urge to pee your pants. (Does anyone else ever get that?)
"Barret, Barret, remember at your birthday last year when we first saw that stone that has 'The Butt Family' engraved on it?" - Me.
"What? The what Family?"- Barret.
"The BUTT Family!"
"Holy Shit! YOU'RE RIGHT, I REMEMBER THAT!"
I then point to the engraved stone that reads, "THE BUTT FAMILY".
Barret's laughter dures 5 minutes whilst he rolls around on various benches nearly vomiting and crying out to the 10 or so people in the park, "The Butt FAMILY!!! HAHAHAH!"
A stranger walks over to Barret as he leans against the pillar (clutching his aching sides) where the name's of families who contributed to the park development are enscribed. The woman is wearing large, oversized (almost novelty) glasses. The thick lenses and wide frames themselves are cause for laughter. Her posture is that of someone who is irate, irrational, and possibly, Sheila Butt.
"Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Sheila Butt."
Barret, astonished, yet with a very quick rebound time, "WELL! Pleased to meet you!" He sticks out his hand and tries to shake hers vigorously, yet hers remains somewhat limp.
"You find my last name funny." She really actually states it. It's not like anyone who's last name is Butt really needs to ask if their last name is funny.
"Yes, indeed I kind of do!"
"Well I've been living in Laurier for 40 years. How many years have you lived here?"
I'd like to take a moment here to point out that this part of the conversation doesn't really make much sense. Yet, for some reason, she thought this was a stellar counter-point. Why? Who knows?
"All my life! 14 years!" - Barret.
After responding, with a tone of affirmation to her question. She moves in closely so as I cannot hear. Nonetheless, Barret has filled in the holes.
"Did you know that "butt" means target in Old English. Because it does."
Again, she simply states what she asks. Again, who cares? What does that even mean?
"Well, no, I can't say I did know that."
"Well Barret what is your last name?"
"McNally."
(I was kind of expecting her to try to make a clever pun or play-on-words out of his last name... GOOD LUCK. Your last name is BUTT!)
"Where do you live Barret?"
"Just over there." He points in the general direction of his house.
The rest isn't important. What is important is the fact that the Butt Family was at the Park that day, simply enjoying an afternoon in the sun, when all of a sudden and without warning, a sick, sick mind had to ruin the day.
Unfortunately, her last name is still Butt.
No matter how long she lives in Laurier... I don't think it's going to change.
