Politics of the Business

It is after midterms, The Streets are threatening to break my speakers, I call Carr.

2:10 I whine: "Carr, let's go already... Do you really have to take a shower?" Carr replies, "Yeah man, I will go to work drunk, but I won't go dirty."

3:00 - Meet Carr, have had a shot of whiskey

3:15 - Sitting on bench with Carr, drinking whiskey slurpee, he shoots a strange combination of absolut vodka and some richer gin.

3:16 - Carr and I are still sitting on the bench and he's like, "Were alcoholics arent we?"I check my watch and I'm like, "its 3:16... yep"

3:20 - Lady walks by bench and Carr has the call: "Hi! I like MEN!" We are sent into a fit of laughter.

3:26 - Carr pushes me into a bush. Pants are wet, it is a combination of urine and the snow I have just fallen into.

3:28 - While jumping over a fence I decide Carr and I should start our own radio station. It will be called iROCK. People will call in and say "iROCK! Can I hear some..." or "iROCK! I need some advice on..." We will block anyone who requests Usher, Ying Yang Twins, Elephant Mon, or any other wannabe Crunkers.

3:30- Carr follows lady walking to her Wolkswagon. When she turns around and glares, he gaits normally, yet when she turns back, he proceeds the hunt.

3:35 - Carr and I turn a corner in an alley and exclaim in unison "Holy shit, A Scion Xb!"

3:36 - Still in a phase of exclamation, I exclaim, "Those things are the only vehicles on the market to have a pie holder/convection oven!"

3:38 - Carr humps Scion Xb.

3:46 - Carr and I walk around the neighborhood. I pee four times, once infront of community hall where old geezers are playing cards. An idea for "Gin and Rummy" ensues.

4:01 - I leave Carr at a bus stop for the 112, he has to be at work for 5:00. Next bus in 30 minutes. I leave him muttering "beep beep beep" over and over and over. He thinks he's Buslink because he misdialed the number and got the busy signal.

4:15 - I walk through the door, happy that no one is home, and without taking off my shoes, jacket, earbuds, or gloves, run upstairs and piss my guts out.

4:40 - I am called. I say I will be out of the house after supper.

Ladies, we know you're impressed.

Tonight I will be testing my foolprood method of instantly sobering up, now matter how much I have had. But remember kids, abstinence is the only tried and true way of... Fuck, nevermind.

The recipe I will be following is as follows.

1. A huge dinner of chicken and whatever else I feel like cooking.
2. Two glasses of milk following dinner. None of this bullshit homo or 1%. Only 2 will do.
3. Only drink clear (white) liquor. Whiskey, Brandy, Sherry, Wines, and generally all colored liquors have other products that will take longer to be processed by your liver. Remember the general rule: your liver can do a drink an hour.
4. After every drink, a cup of water, or approximately two glasses.
5. After drinking, one multivitamin pill, followed by,
6. One spoonful of honey.
7. Drink as much water as possible.

Expect a post on how it turns out.