Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Scientists prove beer has female hormones in it! Turns men feminine!
Yesterday, scientists suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 50 men were fed 6 cans of beer each within a one hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the men:
- talked excessively without making sense;
- became overly emotional;
- couldn't drive;
- failed to think rationally;
- argued over nothing;
- had to sit down while urinating;
- and refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.
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Beanie: Yeah, from the guy who probably won't get in.
Jerry: I go to school here...
Beanie: Yeah, so?
Jerry: What will you have to do with the university?
Beanie: Legally speaking there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.
Yesterday, scientists suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 50 men were fed 6 cans of beer each within a one hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the men:
- talked excessively without making sense;
- became overly emotional;
- couldn't drive;
- failed to think rationally;
- argued over nothing;
- had to sit down while urinating;
- and refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.
-+-+-+-
Beanie: Yeah, from the guy who probably won't get in.
Jerry: I go to school here...
Beanie: Yeah, so?
Jerry: What will you have to do with the university?
Beanie: Legally speaking there will be a loose affiliation. But, we will give nothing back to the academic community. As well as provide no public service of any kind. This much I promise you.
