Saturday, August 18, 2007
Americans Dismayed by Genetic Drift, Heredity
Americans across the Inland Northwest, South Central and Central Region of the nation are experiencing feelings of discomfort today after a new study released by the American Institute of Geneology suggests that many Americans may not truly be "Americans" at all.
The study explains in great detail how the United States was formed when thirteen colonies of Great Britain asserted their independence and created a federal constitutional republic. It goes on to cite strong evidence indicating that the United States was not, as many believe, settled by Americans, but rather that the nation was begun by immigrants. These immigrants, although it goes contrary to popular belief, came from nations in West and Central Europe. The study too hypothesizes that some may have been from as far east as what is today known as Poland.
Americans have been slow to react positively to the study. Although painstakingly researched by an accredited and well-respected organization, Professor Charles White of the University of Tuscon observed that, "No history text in America would contain therein this rubbish!" While Rene Formier, spokesman for America! E Pluribus Unum!, described the study as "clearly not based on any real history" and "perhaps the Institute simply confused the United States with Canada".
Contacted for a possible press forum, an irrate Mel Rompsel, Exec. Director of Public Relations with the Institute had this to say: "People will continue to be undereducated unless they learn to accept empirical evidence as it presents itself. The veracity of our study should not be of concern, but rather the illogic with which it is refuted! See clearly America!"
Many, however, are still dismissing the evidence as "highly theoretical" and "probably not based on any Biblical passages whatsoever".
The study explains in great detail how the United States was formed when thirteen colonies of Great Britain asserted their independence and created a federal constitutional republic. It goes on to cite strong evidence indicating that the United States was not, as many believe, settled by Americans, but rather that the nation was begun by immigrants. These immigrants, although it goes contrary to popular belief, came from nations in West and Central Europe. The study too hypothesizes that some may have been from as far east as what is today known as Poland.
Americans have been slow to react positively to the study. Although painstakingly researched by an accredited and well-respected organization, Professor Charles White of the University of Tuscon observed that, "No history text in America would contain therein this rubbish!" While Rene Formier, spokesman for America! E Pluribus Unum!, described the study as "clearly not based on any real history" and "perhaps the Institute simply confused the United States with Canada".
Contacted for a possible press forum, an irrate Mel Rompsel, Exec. Director of Public Relations with the Institute had this to say: "People will continue to be undereducated unless they learn to accept empirical evidence as it presents itself. The veracity of our study should not be of concern, but rather the illogic with which it is refuted! See clearly America!"
Many, however, are still dismissing the evidence as "highly theoretical" and "probably not based on any Biblical passages whatsoever".
