Friday, August 31, 2007
Area Man "Waits Out" Local McDonald's
Spring Valley, NV - In what is being discarded by industry critics as "neither an overwhelming victory nor a decisive defeat for fast food", Peter Flossie's 6 hour fast has come to an abrupt end.
Early Saturday morning, around approximately 12:20AM Eastern Time, sources say Mr Flossie, 36, arrived at McDonald's Restaurant #303. Unaware that the eatery, located on 14th street and 6th avenue, closed for a period of six hours between midnight and 6AM, Flossie arrived hungry in his blue Pontiac sedan. Famished, Flossie remarked after the fact that "[he] had never been made aware of the hours of operation" and "had long assumed since childhood that the McDonald's ran 24 hours." Wrong, Flossie's adamant and frequently miscalculating single personality quickly incited him to act irrationally. A machinist working alongside welders of various talents, Flossie had suffered another long day at work. A history of increasingly over-overtime shifts had increased his inability to distinguish between logical paths of thought and pure cranium mayhem. "I just remembered poli-sci and how once in that Chinese restaurant I got a fortune cookie that said I would soon do something life changing!".
Peter Flossie's sister, Marybeth Turner, recalls a phone call shortly after 1:20 in the AM: "It was something about him and the Bill of Rights, something about Article 4... I don't know. I gather there was a felt pen or a marker involved".
The next five and a half hours saw Flossie arrange a makeshift billboard over the existing "Make it Beef." ad, replacing the "Beef" with "24H." He went on to glue a petition to the door, inciting "the hungry and the un-fooled" to "remove the wool from over their eyes and demand late-night satisfaction".
Troy Len, 15, was the opening man for the Saturday 6AM shift. Troy: "The 6er? Oh yeah, I came in and there was this guy who'd written "Hungry for the Truth" on this blue car in paint or something? And he demanded to speak to my manager. I told him he wasn't there, and that was about all the fight he put up (...) Did it surprise me? Yeah man, that guy looked like he was nesting there overnight. I thought he meant business. Like a bird! A peregrin falcon! Those things are so cool."
Faced with a long lineup of 6AM customers, Troy recalls Flossie's blue car leaving the parking lot at approximately 6:20AM. Flossie explains: "I didn't get in line early enough I guess, so I was just like '---- it. I'll get a gyro and fries from across the street, they've been open all night and it's better food anyways'."
Early Saturday morning, around approximately 12:20AM Eastern Time, sources say Mr Flossie, 36, arrived at McDonald's Restaurant #303. Unaware that the eatery, located on 14th street and 6th avenue, closed for a period of six hours between midnight and 6AM, Flossie arrived hungry in his blue Pontiac sedan. Famished, Flossie remarked after the fact that "[he] had never been made aware of the hours of operation" and "had long assumed since childhood that the McDonald's ran 24 hours." Wrong, Flossie's adamant and frequently miscalculating single personality quickly incited him to act irrationally. A machinist working alongside welders of various talents, Flossie had suffered another long day at work. A history of increasingly over-overtime shifts had increased his inability to distinguish between logical paths of thought and pure cranium mayhem. "I just remembered poli-sci and how once in that Chinese restaurant I got a fortune cookie that said I would soon do something life changing!".
Peter Flossie's sister, Marybeth Turner, recalls a phone call shortly after 1:20 in the AM: "It was something about him and the Bill of Rights, something about Article 4... I don't know. I gather there was a felt pen or a marker involved".
The next five and a half hours saw Flossie arrange a makeshift billboard over the existing "Make it Beef." ad, replacing the "Beef" with "24H." He went on to glue a petition to the door, inciting "the hungry and the un-fooled" to "remove the wool from over their eyes and demand late-night satisfaction".
Troy Len, 15, was the opening man for the Saturday 6AM shift. Troy: "The 6er? Oh yeah, I came in and there was this guy who'd written "Hungry for the Truth" on this blue car in paint or something? And he demanded to speak to my manager. I told him he wasn't there, and that was about all the fight he put up (...) Did it surprise me? Yeah man, that guy looked like he was nesting there overnight. I thought he meant business. Like a bird! A peregrin falcon! Those things are so cool."
Faced with a long lineup of 6AM customers, Troy recalls Flossie's blue car leaving the parking lot at approximately 6:20AM. Flossie explains: "I didn't get in line early enough I guess, so I was just like '---- it. I'll get a gyro and fries from across the street, they've been open all night and it's better food anyways'."
